Thursday, March 20, 2014

Naturally Beautiful


Lost File 5/6/2012

Sooo...I did it! I decided to go all natural! Well the decision was made over a year ago, but this past month I celebrated 1 year of having a chemically free head of hair. Initially, I was NOT down. My big sister has been natural for over 5 years and had been urging me to just go for it. Even after countless hair-do-don'ts, I still was not convinced. Especially after seeing just how much of my ancestors was "rooted" in me...hehe.

No, truth be told, I- like so many other black women in America suffer from what I'd call the "is my black beautiful?" complex. This simply means a product of her culture. A selfworth validated by main stream medias definition of "who's black is beautiful". Waist length-full weave, platinum blond, lime green/pink, wet & wavy- "I got Indian in my family" aka keratin treatment (which is embalming fluid with formaldehyde). Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of...it's reality. However, after discovering the TRUTH and you STILL DEFINE your beauty by people who truly don't know who they are themselves- then and only then should you worry...but I digress. Well...wait- one more thing! It's only fitting of me to note that the natural hair phenomenon is not new. However, it has become more and more... shall I say "acceptable." I mean...I may as well be honest, natural hair in corporate America is "defining" it's place. The first time I decided to wear my hair in it's natural state to work I struggled, and it took a lot of courage. Yeah, I know it seems trivial, but after 25 years of believing bone straight long hair was socially acceptable, showing up at a corporate job with the Celie look was a psychological breakthrough.

So back the the TRUTH* lets look at the root of the problem. The truth is your roots are natural, literally. Lets take a short journey: This is a Ethiopian women. Check out her due, esp the back...(Unfinished file)




A Poem for God

Lost File 6/7/2012

I have a special secret :-)(cheezing like a ches cat) but I'm confident I'll be sharing it with you sooner than later :-) In the meantime...I hope you follow this series of blogs entitled "Sylvester meets Agatha" I'm not exactly sure what this story is about, where it will go or how it will end but one things for sure...God is in COMPLETE CONTROL!

Late one Saturday night Agatha and Sylvester decided to write a love story...realizing that it's not about them, they allowed God to speak:

"what does the word mean to you?"

Agatha: Peace - Sylvester: Security

Sylvester: Trust -  Agatha: Love

Agatha: Joy -  Sylvester: Happiness

Sylvester: Safety - Agatha: Protector

Agatha: Compassion - Sylvester: Lover

Sylvester: Friend -  Agatha: Jesus

My Protector Jesus, is peace. A friend I trust to love. The lover of my happiness! There is safety and security in His Joy.

Everybody's a Suspect!

Lost File 11/11/2009

Ok, forgive me in advance..but....everyone's a suspect! Yeah, that's what I mean, him too! One thing that bothers me almost more than anything is a DL brother trying to play it straight to holla at me! No no no no no! Im sorry...well, no I'm not, but if there is any indication that you have any sugar in your tank, flames from the fire or anything that says you might be a homosexual you will be deemed a "suspect" in my book. And "suspects" get no second chances of love from me. I don't get it, and if there is anyone out there who does, please feel free to share. I mean really -what's the point, is it a ego trip, is it to prove "you still got it" or is it just that he feels the need to prove to everyone around him that he can get her? Why even bother. How can you even play both sides of the fence? More importantly, why even put a female through the theatrics? No, thankfully I've never experienced it but I'm sure there are a lot of females out there who have- even if they didn't realize the truth behind what was really going on. Why not me, number one because I am very selective. I've had two maybe three serious relationships in my life. I don't really like to date so I save myself the less needed drama. Two, I have a very strong gay-dar! Very very very sensitive...I can see the fire in your eye before you even look in my direction! Hmmm...just a few thought I had rolling around in my head.

So Much Love to Give

Lost File 05/12/2012

He's my man. He's so sweet! Caring, compassionate, understanding, sensitive and most of all connected to the Father. So he leads me in the right directions, never to be lead astray. He protects me from hurt, harm and danger and he knows just what's detrimental to my soul, because he is divinely directed from the All Powerful. He stands tall and makes my heart melt with his stern demeanor. I have no problem submitting to him because I know he's ruled by the All Knowing. He's as charming as he wants to be and as cool as he can be, who is he. He's my king, he's my better half, he's...me. Yes, me. Because we are one. We are connected to the one who is all three!


When I'm down he knows just how to lift me up. When I'm wrong he has enough wisdom to correct me with compassion. When I need to be held, he know just how to touch my soul. He makes me smile, makes me want to be a better woman. He makes me want to give him all of my love, like I've never lost a love before. Yeah, he's cool, he's my rock, he's my support, he's my motivation. I love him! I mean, love like lay down my life and die type of love him.

Yep, he's my man!

I'm a Carolina Girl

Lost Files

Yes, it's true, I'm a Carolina Girl! Growing up in the NC was and still is one of those rare opportunities.

My niece and I went riding bikes today and it got me thinking about "back in the day" I grew up on the south side of Raleigh, "400 block" to be exact! Most people judge me before they get to know me- which is unfortunate for them.

So, here are a few of my most memorable moments of growing up in my Carolina world!

up-side-down kool-aid-icy-cups
Mr. Oats hot dogs
Mr. Mints 10 cent popsicles
Catching lighting in the back yard and asking my mom to make us flashing earrings.
Jumping the creek
The wooden park
Fighting big mama
Saturdays basketball games at "the court"
Bike crew!
Mr. James on the Corner with his guitar
Wall ball
The junk yard in the first section
Playing house in the club house in the back on the second section
How Kerry D and Kristy never came out the house!
Blacky the dog
The benches with all the old drunk men
Trips to Chavis Heights pool
The shelter on Davie after dark
Walking through the cut behind the church from the 400blk to Martin
Larrys on the corner or Haywood and Martin
Getting chased by dogs from Camden to the 400 the back way by the cirlce
My first kiss at the green box
Sneaking out of the house at night from my second floor bedroom window!
Camp BB&T



and the list goes on and on...